How to remain your wife’s best friend for life

It is so great to know that you got married to your best friend because most people do. However, it is not good at all if after few years both of you can’t connect so well or be so much in love like it used to be when you first got married. Lot of responsibilities and commitments may get you so busy that if care is not taken you’ll hardly create enough time for your spouse…this is detrimental to your love life and marriage. Here are a few tips to keep the flame of your love burning and rekindled always with your spouse.

Share her ideas

You need to understand that your wife is a wonderful creature and in the womb of her mind lies wonderful ideas that can help every bit of your life become better. Let her share her ideas with you about your business, ministry or projects. She may really want to start up something of her own like daycare, school, help ministry….encourage her great dreams…motivate her. Listen to her views and opinions of your plans…you may not necessarily agree with her but respect her points…make her feel as the most important person in your life after God…because that is how it’s supposed to be. Don’t discourage her great ideas only for someone outside to appreciate it.


Share her Vision

Your wife was created not only to womb babies but to also carry great visions. She is a vision carrier just like Mary who ‘wombed’ the Savior. Imagine how the testimony of salvation would have been if Joseph vehemently refused to accept the vision of Mary being the mother of Jesus. Your woman has been created to meet an economic need, to solve a community problem and to affect her environment and nation like Dorcas, Esther and Deborah. You have to be beside her to mentor her and lead her right. Give her the motivation she needs to push her out of her comfort zone.

Share her Interests

It is so obvious that many men love to watch sports or read the newspapers or rather listen to news on the TV; but as a man, have you ever taken time to know your wife’s interests? Do you at all know what she enjoys doing? Find out what she loves doing and do it with her even if for the fun of it; this will help the bond between you to be stronger. Sing with her, dance with her, go places with her…it may just be to stroll together. Two cannot walk together except they agree (Amos 3:3). Both of you can find a common interest and enjoy it together. Two people cannot go on a journey together if one is heading towards South while the other wish to travel to the North. Win your babe’s heart over and over again by showing interest in her interests.

Share her Chores

If your wife’s love language is acts of service, you will have to do your marriage a great favor by finding time to assist her at home even if it is the little things like helping her to lift something from one place to the other. No work should be too big for you to do for your spouse. Culture should not dictate to you what you should and shouldn’t do for your spouse. You only have to find out what makes her happy and you do it for her. One of the daughters’ of the Priest of Midian eventually became Moses’ wife and this not just happened; prior to that Moses helped his wife-to-be and her sisters when they came to draw water from the well. He even helped them to water their father’s flock. (Exodus 2:16-17)
How often do you assist your wife? There are some things that you could easily do while she handles some other things. Remain her best friend for life…don’t distant yourself from her to the extent that she starts feeling your absence and start confiding in a third party. Stay by her, value her, cherish her, support her and maintain her beauty…don’t overload her with home chores to the extent that she gets worn-out. Make her be the model you want…the way you ‘use’ her will determine the way she appears in public…if she is no longer attractive like she used to when you first got married….it’s your fault. Let her take time-out sometimes from the house chores…take her out…celebrate her….she is the mother of your kids….your better half.

Share her Challenges

Your wife go through lot of challenges…she goes through a cycle every month and this may cause mood swings. So sometimes she may be in her low points, such times she may not be too friendly. Do not shout on her during these periods…you need to read her like a book to know when she needs you to understand her moods. She is a ‘multi-stage’ personality. Share her joy, pain, tears and laughter, through her waiting period to her conception season, the childbirth time, the weaning of the babies and when the menopause period comes. Her cycle has been built that way and she needs your full support to grow old together with you gracefully. She wants to remain your best friend for life and you need to be a part of her life in whatever she does for this to happen. Don’t be left behind, be carried along, don’t wait till you hear of her exploits from a third-party or from the media before you know that your wife is a celebrity. See the future in her now. Wake up the sleeping giant in her…remain her best friend for life!

The theory of the missing rib

couple

I remember that almost every subject I was taught in college have one or more theories backing it up. Going through the greatest wise book I discovered that the subject of marriage is not exempted too. Amidst the theories on which marriage is based is the theory of the missing rib. This was propounded in Genesis 2:22 – 23 which says” And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, He made a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said this is now bone of my bones….”

Let me start by telling you that the theory of the missing rib is real. The woman was specifically created to complete the man. Yes, man enjoyed God’s presence and companionship in the Garden of Eden but there was a vacuum that needed to be filled in man’s life by someone who was made from him and that looks like him in another way; there comes the woman. That definitely means that for every Adam, there’s always “an” Eve. This also means you have the tendency to attract your type into your life. I love the way the Old King James version of the bible usually puts it “And this begets this”…. You have the ability to attract your quality in person.  So whoever you have in your life now is the person your quality was able to attract, so dear, don’t blame your partner alone for how things turn out to be in your relationship. It therefore means if you are not currently proud of your relationship, you will need to improve on yourself to be a better person, the better YOU will in turn influence your spouse positively. Divorce is not the way-out, you are the way you. The improved YOU will improve your relationship; this also applies to other ramifications of life, don’t blame your colleagues for bad situations at work or business place until you have first checked yourself and improve yourself to make the situation better. You must check out for the dirt in your eye before you are qualified to point out the dirt in your neighbor’s eye.

A trial and error method in choosing a spouse in the past only attracted Delilah to Samson’s life. Let me put it this way, God’s calculation helps bring your soul mate just as it happened to Adam while your manipulation only attracts Delilah. Oh I do remember that Eve gave her man the apple and this got them driven out of Eden, don’t blame God for that. Adam actually failed to groom his bride and that was the outcome. There is the ‘husband-wife mentorship’ that Adam needed to take Eve through, am sure he got too busy to do the training for her or probably postponed it to another time; and that got too late.  What you teach your wife will reflect in her lifestyle. I hope you remember Ananias and Sapphira in the books of Acts of Apostles chapter 5 (Holy Bible); the guy also failed to mentor his wife rightly. I am so sure he had handed over the steering wheel of the home to his wife because his wife was so bold delivering the ‘lie speech’ she has rehearsed to Apostle Peter. I am sure she gave her husband the suggestions of how the plan would go in concealing the actual facts of their land sales. Of a truth, birds of same feather flock together, great people think alike so also average and poor minded people. It therefore means that if you want to get married to a king, you must be a queen yourself. Live it, cultivate it and dream it till it comes to manifestation. What you don’t think and behave you cannot become.

To my married colleagues, do you know that wonders happen when couples pray together? So no matter your busy schedule always make it a point of duty to pray with your spouse because if one can chase a thousand, two will definitely chase ten thousands together, so says the Holy Scriptures. Great couples win together!

Who stole my Virginity?

It was just a kiss, I swear and I never meant to give away my most treasured virtue…my emotions got the better of me, I responded to every touch and advance he showed me and before I knew it….I had passed the stage of no return. I gave myself to him, and in just few minutes I lost my innocence…Ruby sobs as she took the inventory of her affair with Rolex.

A lot of young girls have lost their innocence on the platform of deceit, rape, abuse and inordinate affections. Our young ones have lost their innocence to pornography, masturbation, lesbianism and all sorts of sexual atrocities. Most parents have in the name of making extra income for the family left their first duty to their kids, moral training. Kids now have to learn about almost everything from films, peers and internet. Guardians, uncles and aunts have made preys out of their nieces and nephews, polluting their minds and bodies with sexual thoughts, materials and acts.

My dear damsel, do not raise alarm that you are raped if you decide to dress half-naked on the streets. Do not lodge a complaint of sexual assault if all you do is wear very tight attires that exposes all your “natural endowments”. Before we crucify that guy for abusing you sexually, we have to first find out what you wore that aroused him.

And to you, dear Youngman, I understand the fact that you masturbate to express your feelings or the emotions going on in your body …and did it really make you feel better or it has now become an addiction? Pornography has become your hobby…oh; it’s a secret hobby that you hide from everyone. You were actually not like this some time ago, you were a gentleman that every parents would be proud of and would want their kids to emulate, so the question is, who took your innocence away? What made you go wild? When did you disconnect from God?

You have actually planned to wait till you find the right mate and never to mess up with any girl…but looking at your scorecard now…you really have messed up big time with lot of girls…jilting and abusing most of them….hmmmm…God is watching you. Have you ever heard the phrase…”flee fornication”? Your maker, God, actually commanded you to run away from anything that will pollute and abuse your body. You simply can’t withstand anything in skirts….you have really gone wild and lost control. Why have you allowed yourself to be so influenced by what you know only leads to destruction?
Dear beloved husband, you were not like this when you first got married. In fact, you were the dream of every young bride then, caring, loving and God-fearing; but now, you have become the lion of the tribe of your house. You now live as the dictator at home, we know you are the head of the house but a great leader influences with love by laying good example. You should have known that something has gone wrong when you had to start forcing your wife to obey you. Where have you missed it? What kind of men are your friends; the ones that beat their wives? Oh come off it, the company you keep have a long way in affecting your behavior and belief. I also heard you now have a mistress who explores with you. So you have forgotten the wife of your youth? Strange women only help men to dig early graves, they make demands that your own wife dare not ask you. Why did you decide to go astray? Why did you decide to break God’s heart? You have lost your innocence and hardened your heart; re-trace your steps back home as God is waiting for you just as He did for the prodigal son.

Dear precious wife, it is good to hear that you now earn a fat salary, at least you can help your spouse out with the family finance; but wait, is it true that you have allowed pride to set in. I find it hard to believe that you no longer respect your husband because you feel you too have arrived. Do not pay evil with evil, even if he has once offended you, you do not have to take back your own pound of flesh. Love does not do that, and you can’t make him feel sorry for the wrong he has done to you by paying him back with wrong. You used to be the sweet, gentle, loving and respectful wife….where has your innocence gone? Why did you allow your friends or films influence you negatively? Who stole your innocence? Do an inventory of your life, re-trace your steps and go back to God…