Battered Bride

ImageRufus raise his fist for the second time and hit his wife at her right temple, she staggered and this time hit her head on the wall, she drifted downwards immediately and fell down flat. He made another effort to pounce on her on the floor but discovered that he was hitting a lifeless body. The ambulance was called in and Rita was rushed to the hospital, the fact however remains that Rufus had inflicted so much injury on her and she couldn’t survive ordeal. She died not fulfilling her days, she passed away without maximizing her potentials, and she died still full of treasures that would have blessed the world and countless lives.

A lot of women have become a punching bag in the hands of the men they love so much, this way they became shadow of themselves, living a life full of regrets because they found themselves in a great bondage of being brutalized regularly by the person they love, admire and respect. Kicks, slaps, blow and being hit on any part of the body has become a daily experience, this is so sad.

 God stipulates that no man should put asunder the couple He has joined together; He also instructed husbands to love their wives. (Ephesians 5:28). A man who loves his wife will never beat her and he who loves his wife loves his life. Now, the man and his wife are one flesh (one body) and it is impossible for someone to start beating himself when he is not mad. It therefore means that a man that beats his wife is not in his right senses and should see the psychiatrist immediately. A man can claim at times that his wife annoyed him by raising her voice and uttering abusive words. Every great man should know when to walk out when a hot argument seems to be in the pipeline. In fact, it is of great advice that man that cannot control his anger should not get married. If you know that you have an anger problem now, visit those who are masters in anger management and get help for yourself less you destroy yourself and your loved ones.

As a woman, it is good to love your man and still keep being around him despite the strife between you two. It is however very unwise to keep staying around any man who treats you like a boxing mate in the boxing bout. Beating up a woman in the name of correcting her is a blow below the belt and abuse of the highest order. In as much that divorce is not a wise and first option out, it is wise to keep away from him for safety or contact your family and friends who can give an immediate rescue less they wake up to find your corpse.

It is also very strange to hear that there are ‘husband beaters’ among our women who will lock the doors, sit on their husbands, beat them and at same time be the ones crying for help; wonders will never end. It is wrong to inflict pains on others not to talk of someone who is your flesh and blood.

For women going through different forms of abuse, reach out for help, there are organizations that shelter abused women who seek refuge from their abusive spouses for a while as the case is being looked into professionally; they also help handle legal issues as related to women abuse. One of such organization is PROJECT ALERT in Nigeria. You can reach out to them by checking them out via Google; the contacts through which you can reach them are available on their website. Don’t die in pains and in silence when you can live your life maximally. Reach out for help so that you can save your life and those of your loved ones. It is well with you. You can reach me on BB PIN: 25E9E245 if you have questions as relate to this.

 

 

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The Playboy

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Richie has been lying sick for almost two months now. He has been transferred from one hospital to the other and all the result of tests conducted by doctors came out clean. The source of his sickness has not been discovered. The doctors all claim the results showed nothing wrong with him; yet he knows all things are wrong with him. He can’t eat….can’t sit up for long and of recent he has been having problems with his speech. A doctor actually advised him to seek spiritual help, so he has decided to send for his Pastor who has just returned from one of his missionary assignments around the world.

As his Pastor saw him, he had compassion on him. He held his hand to pray for him but couldn’t say anything, his lips did not move neither did his heart communicate with God. Pastor Philips opened his eyes, takes a good look at Richie, the head of Protocols and one of the most eligible bachelors in church. “Is there something, I need to know about your past? Is there someone you need his/her forgiveness?” Richie looked back at his Pastor with tears in his eyes. “I think I have a confession to make.”

Some few years back…..Richie has been one of the guys in vogue in the University. Handsome, rich, outspoken …he has his ways with girls that stir up his emotions…. Precious, a fresh student however gave him a tough time. Not only is she strict, she also has principles and he was bent on getting her. He used all the tactics he knew to get close to her to no avail. He invited her to his birthday night party yet she declined, telling him she doesn’t go for late night events.

This is Richie, one of the biggest boys in school who always have his way in all things. He contacted Precious’ best friend, tipped her and gave her the assignment…”Precious must come for my birthday party…more reward if you succeed”.

Precious appeared at Richie’s birthday party, all thanks to her room mate and friend, Betty. A game plan has been hatched, unknown to Betty. Precious’ was drugged and not too long from then, she was alone with Richie, the game master planner. The rest is left to be imagined, she was raped. She lost her virginity in a very horrible way. Betty felt so bad; she never knew that was the original plan. 

Few weeks after that Precious discovered she was pregnant and reported the case to her friend who immediately alerted Richie who of course was not ready to be a father. Precious would not hear of abortion despite how Richie pleaded with her. He tried all his might to make up with her only to deceive her to visit his doctor who will help check the state of the pregnancy and prescribe drugs that will sustain her health. Precious fell for it again as she was given some contents to swallow at the hospital, not knowing the doctor was quack and what she swallowed was meant to abort the baby.

Betty had to alert Precious’ parents when she started bleeding profusely. She was rushed to a private clinic where her womb had to be operated on. Doctor had bad news for Precious and her parents. Her womb has been ruptured so it had to be removed.

Precious woke up to the reality of what has happened to her. She cried uncontrollably for seven days and on the seventh day, she rose early as one am, stripped herself naked and cursed Richie.

Precious never went back to that school and Richie took to his heels because the police were after him for the havoc caused to Precious. Not only did he rape her, he also damaged her womb by forcefully aborting her baby.

Few years down the lane, Richie attended a program that changed his life; he forsook his bad ways and became a Christian. Not too long he started having strange dreams about Precious, in each nightmare; he would see her crying and cursing him. Each time he wakes up from his dream, he usually feels so heavy, sad and depressed. Prior to his illness, he has been having nightmares of her almost every day, the last one he had before falling ill was terrible, Precious actually threatened him in the dream saying, “you will never enjoy your life anymore same way you made my life miserable”. He was rushed to the hospital after waking up from the nightmare with terrible pains all over his body.

Pastor Philips looks straight into Richie’s eyes and told him, “Your healing begins when Precious forgives you, so try all you can to reach out to her even if it means searching the entire world”.

Every phase of our lives is important and how we live today determines how we face tomorrow. When we give out lives to God, He forgives us our sins but there are some past that needs to be amended or corrected. Oh, Richie may not be able to correct the past but he needs the forgiveness of someone he had wrongly hurt in the past. Don’t intentionally hurt someone on your way to see tomorrow because they may hold the key that opens the door of your tomorrow.

Richie worked for the curse he earned from precious. Precious curses on him worked because there has been a blood covenant between them via the sex (rape). Richie could get deliverance from the curse but it begins with him being forgiven by Precious.

For every Mr. Flirt, Handsome and Richie out there don’t forcefully get what you are not given, don’t bet on any girl to prove a point because you may get the girl but lose your future peace and rest.

 

 

Bleeding Scar

ImageEveryone in Grace Chapel adores Lily where she is a worship leader. People always look forward to worship sessions led by her because God’s presence is always felt by her ministrations. Not only is she anointed, she is also beautiful, tall and slim and she is fondly described by her close friends. Everyone was looking forward to the blessed man that would have her hand in marriage and yes Lily accepted Paul’s proposal. Paul was envied by all eligible bachelors because it was not too long that he joined the Chapel that he proposed to Lily and she accepted almost immediately as if she had been waiting for him all her life. Their courtship period was memorable as they had chance to visit great places, attend life-changing seminars and of course go through the mandatory marriage counseling sessions. The counseling sessions opened them up to a lot of things. The courtship was already a year old and both have met each other’s parents.

They were at the last stage of the counseling session when the Counselor asked them if they had information which is very vital to their relationship that has not yet been revealed to each other. Paul had almost a clean slate as he would put it, still a virgin at the age of twenty-nine and he has promised to remain so till he gets married, so he expects his wife-to-be to be same. Lily however said she may have one or two things Paul need to know about her and she promise to tell him after the counseling session. It’s not going to be a big deal after all, she has always been a ‘church girl’, Paul muttered to himself. He however was in for a rude shock when Lily told him the most kept secret she never reveals to outsiders.

“I have a ten year old son. I had him at the age of fifteen. I was just a victim of circumstance. Armed robbers attacked our house, not only were my parents shot, I was also raped. I was rushed to the hospital after the incident to be taken care of. I don’t know what went wrong, it just happened that we later found out that I was pregnant as a result of the rape; my mum who had lost my dad due to the attack could not bear to have me go through abortion. I had to carry the baby to full term. My baby boy Hosea lives with my aunt in Ghana, I only go to see him once or twice a year. My family decided that he should be with my aunt so as not to be hunted by the memories surrounding his birth”, she said concluding her story.

Paul was speechless for so long, it was written all over his face that he was not happy with what he just heard. “I had always wanted to marry a virgin”, he lamented. He was not only disappointed that his fiancée is not a virgin, but that she was raped and also has a child out of wedlock? That sounds so terrible indeed. He really needs time to think about it. And he did think about it and came to the conclusion that he cannot marry Lily any longer.

It was a terrible time for Lily as she found it so hard to believe that Paul would leave her on account of a past she has no control over. She was devastated and heartbroken.

Lily, you don’t need to apologize over a past you have no control over. All you need to do is appreciate your creator for a beautiful tomorrow already promised. Not every man is man-enough to groom you. Someone has been specially equipped to accept you the way you are. For every Ruth, there is “a” Boaz waiting for her who will no longer remember her dirty past. If God in His infinite mercy decide not to remember your past anymore, who is that man that still condemns you? The adulterous woman was condemned but Jesus refused to condemn her with a warning to go and sin no more.

Naomi’s closest relation who was supposed to marry Ruth wouldn’t accept her because he couldn’t take his eyes away from her scar (Ruth 4:1-6). Anyone that wants to tear open your healing wound should not be allowed to come near you. This is because they will end up bringing back dried tears.

Let the bleeding of your scar stop, refuse to be stigmatized, wipe your tears, someone better is coming your way who will no longer remember your dirty past or hold you accountable for it.

 

 

 

Don’t touch my body too

ImageMy heart is touched at the great responses I received to the first part of this message; don’t touch my body and it is a confirmation that lot of kids close to us are either still being abused daily or are still struggling from the bruises sustained from previous abuse(s).

I am so concerned with the after effect of the abuse as many never get total healing from the hurts, bruises or damage done to their self esteem. This episode is to address the hurt, bruises and suggest helps that victims of sexual abuse can use.

A wise man once said, “A problem is half solved when it is shared.” Not every victim of sexual abuse will be rescued by an observant teacher as it happened in Princess’ case (refer to: DON’T TOUCH MY BODY…. http://t.co/bDTc45CoH5 on my blog); but many will get help if they can confide in a counselor or a mentor who can provide help and address the situation.

No matter the abuse you have been through, you need to understand that it hurts God to see you go through such ordeal and it breaks His heart to see you still struggling with the bruises of the maltreatment. Whatever might have happened to you in the past has not reduced your value because you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are a master piece and nothing on earth can change that. It does happen that when you allow your heart to be defeated by what happened to you, you may think less of yourself and then your self esteem is affected. You are not inferior no matter what happened to you. It is only a passing phase of your life which will also pass. 

Can you begin to speak positively to your life? Wake up every day and look into the mirror, speak greatness to the person you see. Declare that; “I am great, I have a glorious future, I have a glorious destiny, I am original, I am a designer’s make, configured for the best. No matter what I have been through, God is going to see me through. The top is my place and I will get there.”

Friend, don’t just say those words, believe them, register them in your mind and live them. Whatever you think has a way of affecting your life. It is possible that you remember the ordeal at times, the scars may still be there but you have to refuse to live in your past. Whatever happened is in your yesterday and you need to de-register it from your ‘thinking system’ if you want to forge ahead. I love the tweets of @Kirkfranklin which reads: I’m so glad God doesn’t hold my past against me while he works on my future. #grace

He further ‘tweeted’: Matter of fact, He worked my future out before my past was even present! #moregrace.

Have you ever prayed to God about it? You need to because He cares. I Peter 5:7. He has a way of touching the wounded and broken hearts. Where psychologists and doctors fail, He prevails. He heals invincible wounds and scars, because He is the Creator, we call Him the Great Physician.

One thing you must also note is the people you share your past with. Be careful who you share your ordeal with, some friends are not equipped to help you pass through what you are experiencing, and they end up complicating the issue. They may sympathize with you and later turn to tale bearers behind you, so watch it. Only confide and seek counsel from able hands. 

That you were mal-handled by a man/woman does not mean every other person will treat you same way. There are good people who will treat you right and celebrate you. There are times that it may be necessary to leave the environment that reminds you of previous hurts and abuse; this is good for your mind and self esteem. 

More importantly, we are responsible for every child that is being abused around us, if we cannot do anything to help, there are authorities, non-governmental organizations and human right activists that will go to any extent to take care of the situation, report to them. Everyone has a part to play in sanitizing our environment; it begins with you and me.