Everyone in Grace Chapel adores Lily where she is a worship leader. People always look forward to worship sessions led by her because God’s presence is always felt by her ministrations. Not only is she anointed, she is also beautiful, tall and slim and she is fondly described by her close friends. Everyone was looking forward to the blessed man that would have her hand in marriage and yes Lily accepted Paul’s proposal. Paul was envied by all eligible bachelors because it was not too long that he joined the Chapel that he proposed to Lily and she accepted almost immediately as if she had been waiting for him all her life. Their courtship period was memorable as they had chance to visit great places, attend life-changing seminars and of course go through the mandatory marriage counseling sessions. The counseling sessions opened them up to a lot of things. The courtship was already a year old and both have met each other’s parents.
They were at the last stage of the counseling session when the Counselor asked them if they had information which is very vital to their relationship that has not yet been revealed to each other. Paul had almost a clean slate as he would put it, still a virgin at the age of twenty-nine and he has promised to remain so till he gets married, so he expects his wife-to-be to be same. Lily however said she may have one or two things Paul need to know about her and she promise to tell him after the counseling session. It’s not going to be a big deal after all, she has always been a ‘church girl’, Paul muttered to himself. He however was in for a rude shock when Lily told him the most kept secret she never reveals to outsiders.
“I have a ten year old son. I had him at the age of fifteen. I was just a victim of circumstance. Armed robbers attacked our house, not only were my parents shot, I was also raped. I was rushed to the hospital after the incident to be taken care of. I don’t know what went wrong, it just happened that we later found out that I was pregnant as a result of the rape; my mum who had lost my dad due to the attack could not bear to have me go through abortion. I had to carry the baby to full term. My baby boy Hosea lives with my aunt in Ghana, I only go to see him once or twice a year. My family decided that he should be with my aunt so as not to be hunted by the memories surrounding his birth”, she said concluding her story.
Paul was speechless for so long, it was written all over his face that he was not happy with what he just heard. “I had always wanted to marry a virgin”, he lamented. He was not only disappointed that his fiancée is not a virgin, but that she was raped and also has a child out of wedlock? That sounds so terrible indeed. He really needs time to think about it. And he did think about it and came to the conclusion that he cannot marry Lily any longer.
It was a terrible time for Lily as she found it so hard to believe that Paul would leave her on account of a past she has no control over. She was devastated and heartbroken.
Lily, you don’t need to apologize over a past you have no control over. All you need to do is appreciate your creator for a beautiful tomorrow already promised. Not every man is man-enough to groom you. Someone has been specially equipped to accept you the way you are. For every Ruth, there is “a” Boaz waiting for her who will no longer remember her dirty past. If God in His infinite mercy decide not to remember your past anymore, who is that man that still condemns you? The adulterous woman was condemned but Jesus refused to condemn her with a warning to go and sin no more.
Naomi’s closest relation who was supposed to marry Ruth wouldn’t accept her because he couldn’t take his eyes away from her scar (Ruth 4:1-6). Anyone that wants to tear open your healing wound should not be allowed to come near you. This is because they will end up bringing back dried tears.
Let the bleeding of your scar stop, refuse to be stigmatized, wipe your tears, someone better is coming your way who will no longer remember your dirty past or hold you accountable for it.