Bedmate or Soulmate?

ImageLara always looks forward to her intimate moments with Lekan. He sure knows how to send shivers down her spine with his touch, kisses, cuddles and romance. This minute he is busy making love to her, an hour later, he beats her like a punching bag. Yes, he buys her gifts when he is in a happy mood, yet he never misses raining abusive words on her once she makes any mistake. He pulls her down emotionally and psychologically when in a bad mood despite promising her marriage….watch it, he is just a bedmate and not a soul mate.

Bedmates are common, easy to meet and flirt around with. They easily toy with their partner’s emotions; a soul mate values his/her partner and does not toy with his/her emotions. When you are a soul mate, you don’t mistreat your partner because doing so is like driving a hammer straight into your heart.

You go wrong when you start sleeping with someone you are not married to. This is because sex be-clouds you from discovering all you need to know about your partner and makes you more concerned about satisfying your cravings. Take God’s candid advice; don’t sleep together until you are married to each other. Dear girlfriend, don’t pack into his house thinking you are already his fiancée. To him, you may still be a mere friend and nothing more.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Do you still connect with your spouse like when you first got married? How healthy is your relationship? I know you share same bed but do your hearts bond as one? It is possible you are sleeping together regularly yet your heart is flirting with some secret admirers or colleague. Some couples bear grudges, keep malice and yet sleep on same bed, so strange. That you both are married does not qualify you as soul mates. Marriages turn out great and successful when couples learn to be soul mates rather than mere bed mates.

A soul mate prays for you whether you are achieving success or not. He/she is your cheer leader come thick or thin. Your pain becomes theirs because you are bonded by one cause which is to finish strong together. If both of you start keeping secrets from each other, watch it, you are drifting from great soul mates to mere roommates. You can share same room/bed without sharing same bond. Do you know what is happening lately to your spouse or you are so consumed with your personal project that you hardly notice? Do you hear the silent sobs of your sweetheart late in the night beside you on the bed or you are busy in the dream land always and fail to notice? Do you at all notice the winkles on your spouse’s face which your constant nagging and complains caused? I guess you don’t, yet you want him/her to fall in the mood of ‘love-making’ at the snap of your fingers.

Dear single lady, he needs to first be your soul mate before he can qualify to be your bed mate. Don’t de-value yourself; if he loves you enough he will wait to put the ring on your finger before making you the mother of his kids. Abstinence (for the singles) is not old fashioned but God-fashioned. Don’t phase out what God put in place least you see His wrath.

 

Blackberry Affair

ImageChioma’s wedding to Rufus has been fixed. Its 2 months from now and preparation is in top gear to make this love celebration a memorable one. Just a month ago she got a friend’s request on face book from one of her closest school male friends whose contact she lost some years back. She accepted his request and they got talking; they exchanged contacts which included their blackberry pin. Chioma and Chris were very close in those days and he really knew how to make her happy. She told him of her engagement and he was happy for her. He however promised to make up for the time they lost contact.

True to his words, Chioma usually wakes up every morning with BB chats of from Chris already waiting for her, all inspiring and motivational messages. As time goes on, he started sending her jokes which always crack her ribs and made her day. Not too long the messages keep getting emotional and both of them started having feelings for each other. A day wouldn’t be complete without hearing each other’s voice on the phone.

Chioma’s wedding turned out successful but the honeymoon was spiced with regular messages from Chis. Least I forget, Chris has been married for three years with a kid, yet he allowed his heart to cloud with thoughts of Chioma since they met. He requested that Chioma see him few days to her wedding but she refused to be on a safer side, she knew Chris has developed strong feelings for her that it will only take a swift action just like Joseph did to Portiphar’s wife if she will escape ever sleeping with him.

During the honeymoon, Rufus noticed that his wife was unnecessarily attached to her blackberry and would smile at beeps of incoming messages. He initially did not attach much to it as her happiness is his utmost priority but he started feeling uncomfortable when the first thing she would grab in the morning is her blackberry and her face wouldn’t light up until she receives messages on it. Chris on the other hand was getting distant from his wife Coral. His obsession with Chioma was already affecting his home front as he hardly has time to communicate with his wife and when he does, it is always brief and too formal for romantic expression as his wife later puts it. Although Chioma and Chris have not slept together, yet their hearts is so connected as if they are live-in lovers. Both of them are having an affair unknowingly.

An affair is in the incubation when you can’t help yourself from the feelings of sharing a tight hug, a deep kiss and romantic touch with someone of the opposite sex while you are engaged to someone else. Beware of inordinate affections and questionable emotional attachments to someone of the opposite sex who you are not in relationship with. Don’t walk into a trap intentionally. Desist from hugging any form of distraction, Samson did not heed to this, he ended up losing his eyes and many future victories he would have won easily (Judges Chapter 14 & 15).

Who is that person you are addicted to chatting with that not hearing from him/her in a day would make you feel depressed? Is it a relationship you will be proud of if brought to the open? Why are you dating someone on 2go and at the same time having feelings for one of your BBM contacts despite you are currently engaged to another person on face book? Will you survive it if each of these your lovers decide to have a piece of your heart? 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Do you need someone to talk to? Here’s my BB PIN: 25E9E245