Love Language for Singles

I will strongly advice that every engaged single should try as much as possible to know his/her future partner’s love language(s). However you may not be able to ‘fully’ express some of those love language(s) until you both get married.

So, you may ask me, “what if my boyfriend/fiancee’s love language is PHYSICAL TOUCH?” or “she always wants me to cuddle her to prove my love for her”. The only proper way you can express physical touch while still dating now is holding of hands. See, if you accept to cuddle him/her today, it will be difficult not to share a tight hug tomorrow. That definitely may come along with pecks which will gradually mature into a deep kiss. Before you know it, you’ll be struggling not to have sex together.

A person who enjoys PHYSICAL TOUCH may also like WORDS OF AFFIRMATION; you may have to do with that while still courting and wait to express the physical touch “fully” when you’re married. However, words are powerful; when used rightly, they can melt the heart of a strong man/woman any time. Use your words to stir up your date to be a better person and not to sexually arouse him/her. You know what I’m talking about.

There are words you consistently tell someone that melts his/her heart and makes him/her want to do anything with you including sleeping with you. Have you ever read a love poem that makes you fall in love with the poet instantly? Have you ever read a love letter that makes you wanna tour round the world with the writer? WORDS OF AFFIRMATION with sexual undertone can set anyone’s emotions and body on fire ready to be consumed in the flame of temporary but regretful sexual pleasures. Don’t dare smell what you are not yet “qualified” to eat least its aroma keeps giving you sleepless night until you have a taste of it. Once you taste it, it’s very difficult to stop it and not stopping it could cause lot of havoc.

You can warm your fiance/fiancee’s heart with ACTS OF SERVICE. No one would say no to a little hand of help. You don’t know a good husband/wife ‘material’ by ‘testing’ him/her on the bed. Marriage is not all about sex. Of what use is a man/woman who is good in bed but unless in other areas of life? Set boundaries while courting and stand by them. Don’t let anyone start a fire with you that you know can consume you utterly.

No matter how well you want to spend QUALITY TIME with your future spouse, you must be careful not to be too alone for long where you’ll be tempted to “mess yourselves up.” You can spend time going out, be among people that matter or attend programmes together. Being alone behind close doors always will make you go beyond the boundary.

There is no limit to RECEIVING GIFTS from your fiance/fiancee if that is his/her love language; just make sure you don’t make unnecessary demand that will choke up your partner. Great relationship is made up of givers. I’ll keep drumming God’s candid advice in your ears: if you’re married, sleep only if with your spouse; if you’re still single, sleep alone till you get married. I know you have lot of questions, I’ll be waiting to answer them via BB PIN: 29E55A9A. I value you greatly!

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Now that you’re Married…

ImageNow that you are married…know that it is the beginning of forever! You may not be used to wearing your wedding band as you count months/years in your union but you must get used to carrying out your marital responsibilities promptly.

 

My ‘hubby’ has gotten used to the fact that I can’t leave home to the office without him serving me ‘tonnes’ of hugs. That is my configuration. Do you know your spouse’s configuration? I will never get tired of talking about Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages because lot of marriages are in shambles because they do not take their spouse’s love language(s) serious.

 

Your emotions must be alive and active as a man if you want to enjoy your wife and marriage because women are so emotional in nature. Some women express extreme happiness, sadness, excitement and surprises with tears streaming down their face. So my dear Groom, you need to be well prepared to see those tears often. Shouting on her or getting angry because of this may cause more tears. Those times, what she needs are hugs, words of comfort, kisses and praises. I hope you are ready to keep making your spouse happy per seconds. That’s exactly what you signed for when you said ‘I do’ to him/her. You have to keep being a ‘learner’ as per anything that relates to your spouse. You have to keep learning what will make your home heaven on earth. 

 

I hope you are ready to keep waking up everyday to see the face of that person you walked down the aisle with beside you? The way you handle/treat your spouse will determine whether s/he will get more pretty/handsome as you count your marital years together.

 

Marriage is all about commitment, responsibilities and staying faithful to the marital vows. Not to scare you, but there are times that you may need to hold your spouse to support him/her go through a phase of life. That is why two are better than one. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

 

 

Be ready to inconvenient yourself at times to make your spouse happy. And when the honeymoon is “over”…it is not meant to be over because it is meant to be a daily experience. I mean when the holidays are over and you need to resume at work or in your office, don’t stop those romantic calls and messages. You have to keep telling your spouse how much you love him/her till you lost count of the times you have said it in a day. Don’t stop springing up beautiful surprises to spice up your spouse’s life. 

 

Don’t ever dare to fall ‘out of love’ with your spouse and don’t ever get so close to someone of the opposite sex that your relationship with your spouse begins to suffer.

 

You will need time out together as often as possible. It helps relationship become better. Learn to do an assessment on your relationship either monthly or quarterly. Ask your spouse, “are we better than we were last month/quarter?” This will serve as check mate and if you discover your relationship is worse than it used to be; don’t be calm about it. The serpent that crept into the Garden of Eden to disrupt the first beautiful family ever has not resigned. Don’t give that serpent a chance, seek help if need be; go for a retreat together,read books, articles and listen to pod casts/messages that will make your relationship better. You may need to talk to a seasoned marriage counsellor and above all learn to always talk about your marriage to the founder of marriage…GOD. He is so much interested in our relationship and He wants us to enjoy and not endure it. Make your home an Eden. 

 

Success in your relationship is my utmost concern…I look forward to answer your questions. I value you greatly. I can be reached on BB PIN: 29E55A9A

Forgive…but don’t forget

ImageIt is one thing to forgive someone who has hurt you badly in the past…it is another thing not to forget the lessons learnt from the incident so as not to fall victim again in the future. When I say ‘don’t forget’, I do not mean that you should keep putting the person that hurt you in the prison of your heart. I mean, you should glean and keep to your heart the lessons from the experience so that you will not repeat your mistakes and also be in a position to help other hurting people survive their hurts.

I decided to forgive my ex and that is why I no longer hurt when I remember the emotional trauma I went through in that relationship. Until you remember someone who had hurt you in the past and smile rather than curse, you are yet to forgive the person totally. It’s either you are still hurting or partially healed.

I did not forget the lessons I learnt from my ex and that is why I can easily reach out to a heartbroken fellow because I had been through what they are passing through. I needed to go through my own experience to be fully equipped to help someone who passes through a similar situation.

When my ex came to ask for another chance with me after messing up the various chances he had in the past, I quickly remembered the lessons I had learnt and told him there could be no other chance as he had used up all the chances. I discovered that patching up and continuing in that relationship was going to turn me into an emotional wreck because he has a ministry of breaking precious hearts like mine. The lessons I learnt coupled with the understanding I had from reading the Purpose Driven Life by bestselling author, Rick Warren; made me discover that there is a difference between forgiving someone who had broken your heart several times and then allowing them back again. It is the right thing to forgive but if s/he does not have a good track record of managing relationship, there is no point continuing in that relationship.

Healing from a hurt starts with forgiving the person that hurt you whether s/he deserves it or not. When you forgive, you are not doing that person a favor; rather you are lifting a heavy burden and baggage off your heart. The Lord’s prayer…..”Forgive us our trespass as we forgive those who trespass against us….” So your sins are not to be forgiven by God if you refuse to forgive who ever might have hurt you.

Oh, you say I don’t know your hurt, you have once been raped and I am asking you to forgive the rapist…oh you have once been robbed or cheated on and I am asking you to forgive your offender. Seriously, you need to forgive to make closed doors against your destiny open. That’s God’s candid advice and every commandment of God has blessings attached to it so you’ve got no choice my dear than to forgive.

Don’t forget the lessons learnt from the incident….if you were raped maybe because you dressed almost nude in the public, you must have learnt that decent dressing don’t attract rapists. If you have been jilted one time or the other, you must have known the signs to watch out from a playboy or a “Delilah”. God is Supernatural…he is the one that forgives and forgets our sins…we are humans (natural)…we should forgive those who hurt us but should not forget the lessons learnt from the experience in other to avoid being a bigger prey in the future and to be fully equipped to help likely victims around us. Your future is great. I value you. I look forward to answering your questions via BB PIN: 29E55A9A

 

 

 

Sex and Soul-ties (Confessions of a married woman)

ImageHe loves me or am I getting it mixed up? I am married, he is still single, he tells me things my husband is too busy to say. He makes me feel like a real queen. I am already looking forward to our first kiss because he talks about it all the time on the phone. He once told me he’s still a virgin and wouldn’t mind having his first sexual experience with me. 

 

I am slim and that’s the shape he wants his woman to have. We talk about everything from our feelings, sex and the future. He says he only ask me for one thing, “to have a ‘love child’ for him.” We ended up sleeping together at our first meeting because we both wanted it. We promised each other right and there that it will never happen again because we both have a ‘good’ image each in the public that we won’t want to tarnish. And yes, I still love my home and husband.

 

It did happen again…and this is because after the first experience with him and how ‘nicely’ he treats me, I couldn’t get my mind off him. He just kept invading my thought…that is what sex does to two people. It binds them together; it’s like glue with the mission to put two things together permanently. Sex is a soul-tie, it is strong and binding and that is why it is not advisable to sleep with someone you are not married to. 

 

Why sleep which someone who is old enough to be your mother because of financial gain? You may get a temporary financial push-up from the relationship but you have sold your soul in the process, and your soul is priceless. Anyone who asks for sex in exchange of the favor he/she wants to offer you is your number one enemy to success. Joseph recognized this when Portiphar’s wife approached him and he ran for his life.

 

Dear precious husband, it is better you are not married to her than for you to marry and not be sensitive to her feelings. Adultery has no justification so also will you not be applauded for not being able to meet the emotional and sexual gratifications of your wife.

 

Dear precious wife, you must be able to find a beautiful way to communicate your unmet needs to your husband, sometimes he is ‘too’ busy making money for you and the kids that it takes it as a priority over your emotional needs. Having sex with someone who you are not married to is dangerous because sex is a covenant, vow, seal, bond and a soul-tie. It is only in marriage that God gives a thumb up to sex because it helps a man and his wife to bond and communicate in ways that are beyond words.

 

Scandals from illicit sex are also catastrophic just as it happened to a world class President who slept with one of his office stewards. It destroyed his image, his career and almost ruined his home. A Celebrity Golf Champion lost his home because he was fond of exposing his loins to every lady that winks at him. Do not ruin whatever future you have by a moment of lustful pleasure. Some of your partners may be out to nail you just as Delilah did to Samson. That you cannot control your sexual drive anytime you see a ‘fine’ babe or guy means you really have a problem you need to take care of fast before it embarrasses you before those who hold you in high esteem.

 

It takes courage and wisdom to open up to someone who can help overcome your sexual challenges. You are not the first in such situation and you will not be the last. Lot of great and anointed men of God has taken advantage of vulnerable followers and protégés by committing adultery and fornication on sacred grounds…sex on the altar… God is watching and He is shaking His head. Such men are abusing the grace of God over their lives and have thus placed an expiry date on their grace. It only takes a matter of time and they will end up in disgrace. It is not a sin to be tempted but falling flat in sin and continuing in it without remorse nor seeking for help is sure a destruction path. If you are married, sleep only with your spouse…If you are single, sleep alone till you get married….that’s God’s candid advice. I value you! You reach out to me on BB PIN: 29E55A9A