Before You walk down the Aisle

ImageI hope you know that marriage life need greater investment than the wedding day. The wedding day is a ceremony of few hours while marriage life which begins immediately after the wedding entails countless hours culminating into many years which I term forever.


It is better you dot your I(s) and cross your. T(s) before walking down the aisle with him/her. I want to believe you know your future spouse’s temperament? So let me ask you, ‘can you cope with him/her?’ Until you are able to satisfactorily answer that question, I bet you’re ill prepared for the marriage life. 


Temperament is a natural behavioural pattern. It depicts how someone behaves. Your spouse can either be SANGUINE, CHOLERIC, MELANCHOLIC or PHLEGMATIC according to a proto-psychological theory, although it is possible for someone to have a mixture of the types.


A SANGUINE is pleasure-seeking and sociable and so enjoys talking much. A CHOLERIC on the other hand is ambitious and leader-like in nature so they are ruthless and may seems to cause trouble. A MELANCHOLIC is analytical and thoughtful, they think more than they talk. A PHLEGMATIC is relaxed and quiet, s/he is a lay back person.


There are however no bad or good temperament. Take for instance, you don’t need to be put off by a SANGUINE because s/he talks too much, what if s/he makes sure that the talks are so loaded with sense and not rubbish. There are lot of people making impact via their talks. There is no temperament that cannot be managed and harnessed for the best. I strongly recommend that you read SPIRIT CONTROLLED TEMPERAMENT by Tim & Beverly Lahaye; you should also read WHY YOU BEHAVE THE WAY YOU DO by Tim Lahaye.


Did I hear you say you’re married to a man who has issue with his temper and who enjoys throwing tantrums? Let me help you with this, I read a story in one of one Local Language Text(Yoruba Language- Nigeria) in my elementary school . A wife who was desperate in winning her husband’s heart over visited a native love doctor to get a love charm she can use on her spouse. The love doctor needed only one ingredient, fresh milk from a lioness.


The woman was bent of winning her spouse over and she devised the means of getting the ingredient. She kicked a goat, spice it up and made her way to a thick forest where a lioness can be found. On sighting the lioness from afar, she threw the spiced meat bit by bit from the distance till she exhausted her stock.


She did it for the next 21 days and each day she moves closer to the lioness which at this time has recognise her as its good friend. On the 21st day, she took the bold step to touch the lioness and softly tap its milk. Mission accomplished, she made her way quickly to the native doctor who was stunned when she narrated how she was able to milk the almighty lioness.


The native doctor wasted no time in telling her that she is the best love charm that can work for her spouse. She was urged to go and use same patience and wisdom she applied in milking the lioness on her spouse. Hmm what an advice! The writings of Apostle Paul to the Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 and 23 listed the fruit of the Spirit which are: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. 


If you possess the above, there is no one you can’t live it. I have seen the hardest heart melt at the feel of love. Go an extra mile for him/her. I know there is something about that man/woman that made you fell in love in the first place. Harness that spot again, rekindle that flame of love, the fruit of Spirit enables you to harness the strength in your spouse’s temperament and yours! You may however have to give your life to Jesus before you can ‘grow’ the fruit of the Spirit. May your marriage be Eden on earth!


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