Beneath the Smile

He looks to you like a born leader, he handles life-issues like an expert, and he is every upcoming youth’s mentor but beneath his smile, he is battling with his sexuality. He wishes he could enjoy sex like it is portrayed in the porn films and romance novels. He has an urge that is barely pacified each time he has sex with his wife.
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She is a diva. Her voice is like  a nightingale’s, she has everything a young lady would aspire for; fame, wealth and connection but she has this past that keeps haunting her every night and behind closed doors, she can’t stop wetting her pillow with tears. She wishes she could change the consequences that her wayward past life has on her future. She had aborted in the past and this has left her with a ruptured womb. What man would want to marry such a woman, she often asks herself.

They make a cute couple; they are a bundle of inspiration to countless lives as they reach out to souls to bless them on a regular basis, still, after so many years of marriage they are yet to have a child of their own. They give hope to people in the open yet on their bed they wish all hope is not lost for their marriage to birth biological children.

Dear Friends, let us ponder on the words of Paul of Tarsus which says, “We were troubled on every side; yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed…” II Corinthians 4:8-9 I also love the words of wisdom from King Solomon which reads, “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small”…Proverbs 24:10.

We all have our ‘thorn in the flesh’; it may be light or ugly. We all have scars, the memory of which may still be fresh or long forgotten, but in all, let our hope and determination to pull through be stronger than the urge to throw in the towel. This is not just the usual relationship article you read, this is a motivational pill for someone; it is the soothing balm for your soul. Weeping may endure for a night; surely joy comes in the morning. Dear friend, I write to remind you that there is light at the end of your tunnel and you will burst into a beautiful laugh soon.
Envisage the beautiful future you seek and laugh as if it is here already! Be hopeful, be grateful and be thankful for how far you have come. It will always be better. Seek professional help if need be but don’t give up on your life. Be strong at heart, you are a plus to the world!

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Don’t blame the divorced

Wait till you finish reading this before you’re justified to raise an eyebrow …..…
Don’t condemn the title of this article until you’re through reading this piece. Don’t make any conclusion until you have gone through all that is written here.

Would you have encouraged a woman who is constantly subjected to physical and emotional torture by her spouse to stay put in that marriage till she is beaten to death?
Would you advice someone whose spouse is an unrepentant adulterer/adulteress to stay forever in the marriage until she/he contacts STD? Even the Bible approves divorce on the ground of infidelity because infidelity breaks the covenant of marriage. It is not everyone that is graced like Prophet Hosea to wait on his harlot wife till she repents.

Today as I sit to write, I remember a dear cousin I lost a few years ago at her mid-thirties. She died leaving her young daughter and the son of her teenage years. We knew she had issues in the home front; her husband was ‘a man of war’ at home. At one time in the early days of her marriage she was diagnosed with high blood pressure after ‘a shouting match’ with her husband, which left her almost collapsing. Anyone who would have suggested divorce or temporary separation from her husband at that time would have been tagged ‘enemy of progress’ but we all know better now. She one day collapsed on her way from her work as a result of a heart attack which I knew couldn’t be separated from the war at home.

It is not safe to be living with a spouse whose sanity is not certain. Any spouse that doesn’t see anything wrong in making his/her partner cry or sad, needs a mental and marital checkup. If your spouse’s happiness no longer matters to you, you are no longer normal; ‘mehn….’, seek for help.
Some men/women are meant to emulate Apostle Paul and not get married. See, my guy; it is not compulsory to get married. If you cannot love your spouse unconditionally just as God has laid it down, don’t marry, period! It is miserable to get married and be wishing to be single all over again.

Dear friend, before you blame the divorced, listen to their stories. I usually advise singles to delete divorce from their dictionary and replace it with ‘unlimited forgiveness’ once they get married but the advice is for singles who marry right. You can’t follow God’s leading to the letter while choosing your life partner and marry wrongly. God is the best match maker. Go ask Ruth and Boaz. God’s calculation enables us marry our better half; what manipulation does is to merge Samson and Delilah together.

If God can overlook Ruth’s past and still find her suitable to be in the lineage of Jesus, if He decided to forgive Bathsheba and still crowned her son as the next king of Israel after David, tell me who are you to judge and blame a divorcee whom God has empowered to love and re-marry? A lot of people have made mistakes in ignorance and have found themselves in circumstances beyond their control because no human is perfect. The good news however is that we have a perfect God who specializes in making perfect our imperfections.

You should feel bad for someone who once loved but promised not to love again because of his/her past experience. You should however be happy for one who has taken a bold step to love again despite an ugly past or failed marriage. May our relationships be better each day and may we experience heaven on earth in our marriages. Amen!

{Credits to WINNIE MULTIMEDIA STUDIO BB Pin: 22A92266 for the photograph. Thanks to @iamdayosamuel for the graphics on the displayed picture}

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